This day is just plain difficult for those of us struggling with infertility. It’s a reminder that though we already know something to be true in our hearts, it’s not recognized because we haven’t been able to physically bear our own children. It creates a yearning to fulfill the dream of being mothers, and to be celebrated as such on this special day.
Last year was my first to experience this day on the other side of the equation, the first year I faced the stinging reminder that I wasn’t yet a mother. It felt like not being invited to celebrate a holiday, and instead looking on from the outside.
I consider myself a pretty strong person, but it’s impossible not to face the painful truth head on sometimes. Thankfully, I have an incredibly sweet and thoughtful husband, who is always so in touch with how I’m feeling even when I don’t express it. This year, he surprised me with a “going to be a” Mother’s Day celebration at home complete with flowers, wine and a delicious homemade dinner. We both know and trust that I am already a mother to a beautiful child (or children) we will soon meet, which brings incredible hope.
In the midst of the hurt and uncertainty, there are some beautiful moments in the waiting. Even though we don’t have our children yet, there are moments to be thankful, to cherish and to dream together.
So to anyone who might be struggling this weekend, remember that motherhood can begin long before the baby arrives. Our dreams and desires for motherhood are worthy of celebration, and this day can be a reminder of hope and a future, instead of loss. Happy “going to be a” Mother’s Day to us all.
“Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her of the Lord.”